I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
