shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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