My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
