ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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