I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize