I just found puke in my bra..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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