You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
