Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
