so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
