Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
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If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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