Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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