I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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