i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
