alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Damn victory sex feels great
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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