i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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