im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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