He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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