My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
