After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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