You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
