Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
