my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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