can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
FUCK WHALES
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
