I don't think brook has ever known best
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
