Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Too much gin, very little bucket
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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