FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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