everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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