3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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