HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dick very happy bro
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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