in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
