wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
