you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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