apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
