Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
