Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
