So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
