I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
