Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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