btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
