We're like a lot better than the average bears
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
