If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
