The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
