will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
