I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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