Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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