Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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