"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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