So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
