with your own penis?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
