I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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