I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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