she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
