For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
