yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
