That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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