Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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