you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
