Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize