i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
