If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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