Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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