They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
