what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
