Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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