Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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